Mahou Sensei Negima: From Russia with Perversion
by smirnoffvodka21
Summary: Alexei Yurievich Kokolov, older brother of Anya Kokolova and Negi Springfield's longtime friend. When Negi goes to Japan for his Magister training, he tags along at on his sister's orders. Too bad for the Mahora girls, he's an unstoppable pervert. Rated T for swearing, future violence, and general perverseness. First fic.
1. Chapter 1: From Russia with Intros

**A/N: Hello there everybody! This is the first fanfic I've ever written, so I hope this piqued your interest even a little. As you read in the summary, its basically just a rewrite of the story but with an OC thrown in as Negi's teaching assistant. No pairings besides canon ones as of yet, though I may decide to put a few of the less used girls in the spotlight. I've decided to adopt the business model of a few authors I've seen and only update after I get a certain number of reviews, let's say... 5. Please review after reading, I want to be able to turn this into the best story it could be with reader input. Also, there are translations of any russian I use at the end. So, without further ado, I happily present Mahou Sensei Negima: From Russia with... Perversion.**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian_"

_Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Train**

Two boys stood on a crowded train, one roughly a foot and a half taller than the other, with a lecherous look on his face. The shorter boy had fiery red hair, and looked incredibly nervous.

"Hey Negs, what's botherin' ya?" The older boy said in a thick Russian accent, turning his green eyes to the younger.

"W-well, it's just that t-there's so many girls around..." Unaccustomed to any girls besides his childhood friend, the boy, named Negi Springfield, could only hide his face as hordes of Japanese middle school girls stared at him and his companion. It was only natural, of course, as foreigners weren't exactly the most common sight on a train headed to a Japanese school. The older boy, with a flip of his semi-long blonde hair, only laughed at his friend's reaction.

"AHYAHYAHYAHYAHYA! Negi, my comrade! Do you not understand the great opportunity being presented before us?!" The look on his face scaring many of his fellow passengers "We have been granted the highest honor bestowed to any man in his prime! You and I, comrade, have been chosen, like a protagonist in a manga, to teach at an all-girls school! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!" Negi only sighed at this speech. He knew this would happen, knew that the notorious "Silent Voyeur" of Wales should never have been taken with him on his training trip. It was only at the insistence of his friend and the sister of said pervert, Anya Kokolova, that he even considered taking the Russian lech next to him along. Negi sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

"What does it mean, Alexei?" Here it comes.

"A fresh start comrade! A place where, the two of us, as the handsome sons of bitches we are, can create the one thing on every man's mind! A HAREM MY BOY!" The British boy could only attempt to distance himself from his blonde companion, in hopes that he will not also be labeled a crazy perv.

"And the first step to said harem, my dear Negi, is... PANTY SHOTS!" The look on Negi's face was now one of complete terror as the older Kokolov pulled out a feather from the jacket of his black blazer.

"A-alexei... wait a secon-" Too late, as the Russian pounced on him.

"Be a good sport Negs and help your comrade out!"Alexei began to tickle Negi's nose with the feather.

"AH-AH-AH-!"

And so the world was white.

**The Run**

"Hue hue hue hue hue..."

"Alexei, why did you have to embarrass an entire train full of girls?" Negi, being part of the older boy's antics, was embarrassed himself. For some reason, his magic always acts up and produces a strong wind when he sneezes. Ladies, you have been warned.

"C'mon Negs, the thought didn't even cross their minds that it was us who caused that wonderful scene, so why are you so worried?" Once again, the Russian's true nature knew no bounds. Even as they spoke, he was ogling every girl who ran by.

"Wow, these Japanese uniforms sure have short skirts... ahue hue hue hue hue..." If he were a low class pervert, the amount of thigh being shown would have been enough to satisfy him. Sadly for womankind, Alexei was no low class pervert.

"Geez, they have every kind of girl here, _y __vse krasniyi_." And in all truth, he was right. Tall and beautiful _Yamato Nadeshiko_, athletic girls, motherly types, he even spotted a blonde haired loli! This place had everything! One red head with two ponytails and her friend on roller skates especially caught the blondes eye.

"Oy, Negi, look over there!" Alexei pointed towards the running red head and her black haired companion.

"Hmmmm?" Relatively uninterested, the younger boy merely glanced in her direction.

"_Brat moy_, that babe looks just like Nekane!" The mention of his older cousin caught Negi's attention. Nekane Springfield was a tall blonde beauty who had practically raised Negi by herself, and was the only other girl he was comfortable with. This however, when it came to Alexei, was only a cause of worry.

"W-wait Alexei don't g-" Too late, of course, as the pervert was already running her way at speeds that human beings should not be able to perform. Negi watched as the blonde said something to make her blush fiercely, after which she swiftly kicked him right in the face.

"A-alexei!" Negi ran as fast as he could to the Russian's aid, though he knew that the lech got what was coming to him. As he got closer, he could hear the red head's angry yelling.

"-OF PERVERT ASKS A GIRL WHAT PANTIES SHE'S WEARING?!" Negi sighed. Once again, he should have expected this outcome.

"I-i'm so sorry miss!" The British boy ran up, apologizing as best he could. "H-he really didn't mean to offend you!"

"Shut up brat!" Negi cringed at her response. "Who protects a stupid pervert like that anyway?!" The girl appeared ready to commit muder.

"Negi, my comrade! Save me from this crazy woman!" Alexei crawled comically to Negi and hid behind his legs. "I fear for the lives of my future children if I remain near this female any longer!" This caused the veins in the red heads forehead to pop out angrily. The schoolgirl stomped over, preparing to deliver divine retribution, when all four present heard a smooth voice.

"-what seems to be going on here?" A man in his mid thirties sporting glasses and a light colored suit walked up to the commotion.

"T-takahata-sensei!" The read head's previous anger disappeared and was replaced with nervous fidgeting."T-this pervert here came up to me-"

"Oh, Negi-kun, Alexei-kun! How good to see the both of you here!" The man interrupted, turning to the two boys.

"Likewise, _tovarish_!"

"I didn't know you worked here Takamichi!"The black haired girl, previously in the background, giggled at the look of sheer horror present on the red head's face.

"You know these perverts Takahata-sensei?!" Negi almost cried at this label.

"Of course I do, Asuna-kun. These two are my old friends from Wales, Negi Springfield and Alexei Yurievich Kokolov. In fact, they're exactly the people I was looking for." The older man turned to the boys. "Why don't you two come with me to the dean's office and he'll get you situated?" Takamichi began to walk away, with the Russian and the Brit trailing not far behind. Before they got out of sight, Alexei turned around and stuck his tongue out at the still stunned Asuna, resulting in another angry outburst.

"Let go Konoka, let me at 'im!" The black haired girl held back the red head as if she were a raging lion.

"Just let it go Asuna, we need to get to class!" Konoka obviously didn't have the strength to hold back the beast woman, so she did the next best thing: distracted her. Sighing, Asuna calmed down and began walking again.

"Alright..." Walking with her head drooping, the red head suddenly recalled something. Turning to Konoka, she said "Konoka, what were you going to say before that pervert walked up to us?" Konoka thought for a moment, and then a light bulb seemed to go on above her head. Talking excitedly, she let out one of the few phrases Asuna never wanted to hear.

"Asuna, did you hear about how we're getting a new homeroom teacher?"

**The Job**

"Well, Negi-kun, I must say, your credentials are impeccable. Despite your age, we'd be happy to have you teaching here! Especially if it's for the completion of your training to be a Magister Magi!" The old man of indiscernible age leaned back in his armchair.

"Thank you very much, Dean Konoe! It's an honor to be teaching at your school!" Negi put on his best business smile in an attempt to impress the dean. Alexei, however, deemed this unnecessary and had sat down and put his feet on the old man's desk since the start of the meeting.

"I am a little bit worried about your companion here though..." Dean Konoe turned his scrutinizing gaze towards the Russian. "Are you sure it's safe to have a man... like HIM here at an all-girls school?"

"Ahahaha..." Negi scratched the back of his head nervously. Honestly, he expected this, and his true opinion was that it most certainly was NOT safe. But, a true man sticks up for his friends, so he instead replied

"Of course Dean Konoe! I will do my utmost to unsure that he does not bring any form of harm to the student body!" Though he wasn't exactly sure how he would go about that...

"Well, it's good to know that the rabid animal is on a leash." Alexei frowned at this.  
"Hey! I'm sitting right here you know!" Of course, he was ignored. Dean Konoe then pressed a button on his desk, and began speaking into an intercom.

"Shizuna-sensei, would you be so kind as to bring our new staff to their classroom?" A few seconds later, a tall blonde woman (with a very sizable bust, Alexei noted) walked into the room.

"Would you be Negi-sensei?" She said turning to the younger boy and ignoring the older's blatant staring.

"Yes ma'am! I'm starting as a teacher here today!" Negi looked like a child on Christmas morning. Well, technically he is still a child.

"No need to be so formal. We're equals now, I presume." Shizuna gave a small smile to the Brit. "Now, if the two of you would come with me." She turned and walked out of the office, and the boys followed. "You will be taking over Takahata-sensei's old class, 2-A. They're a bit of a rowdy bunch, so do be careful." As she said this, Takamichi walked up behind the trio.

"-You might want to take this notebook, Negi-kun." The Brit jumped at this. Noticing it was his friend, he sighed and turned to the older man.

"It's the class roster. I put in some notes that I hope will be helpful." Negi began to look through the roster with Alexei looking over his shoulder. The Russian whistled.

"Negi we totally scored! There's nothing but babes in this class!" Alexei's eyes lit up with excitement, and then he looked closer. "Wait a second... its the red head from this morning!" A mischievous grin now found itself on his face.

"Alexei, please don't do what I think you're thinking about doing." Negi put on his best puppy dog face, while the two adults present merely exchanged confused glances. "I have no idea what you're talking about, comrade... ahue hue hue hue hue..." Shizuna decided to diffuse the awkward atmosphere.

"Well, we've arrived! Why don't the two of you go right on in and start class. I'll wait out here in case of any problems." Shizuna stepped to the side to let them through.

"Alright! I'll go first!" The Russian excitedly opened the door, and on his head fell a chalkboard eraser, with white chalk scattering all over his black suit. "_BLAT_!" Swearing in Russian, he stumbled forward, right into a trip wire laid out for him. Falling over that and onto the teacher's raised platform, he was then hit right in the face by multiple shots from a dart gun. Negi walked in after him with a fearful expression. Negi turned and looked at the stunned class, noting the place where the red head sat, and began to speak as his Russian friend raised himself from the ground.

"H-hello everyone. My name is Negi Springfield, 10 years old, and I am your new homeroom teacher." Alexei finished standing up and put on an angry smile.

"And I, am the great Alexei Yurievich Kokolov, 16 years old, and your new teaching assistant!"

Oh dear.

**End Chapter 1.**

**A/N: Well? R & R what you think. For now, see you later!**

**Translations: **

_y __vse krasniyi: _**"and they are all pretty" (last word lit. means red)**

_tovarish_: **"comrade/friend"**

_brat moy_: **"my brother"**

_blat_: **used like "fuck", lit. "whore"**


	2. Chapter 2: From Russia with Classrooms

**A/N: 'Sup People I'm back for another go! I know I said that I would wait until I had 5 reviews, but fuck that writing this is way too much fun! Here's chapter 2, and once again, translations at the end!**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian/Japanese terms_"

_Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Translations at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Class**

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?" A collective scream was let out by all 30 (seat 1 was empty for some reason, both boys noted) girls in the class. A few were of genuine surprise, some of excitement over having a young teacher, and one in particular was ANGRY. Said person (lets not be name calling now) deemed it necessary to let out this anger with violence.

"THERE IS NO WAY THIS GROUP OF PERVERTS CAN REPLACE TAKAHATA-SENSEI!" The woes of a girl in love. They cause things like yelling, crying, and a flying kick to the face of a Russian teaching assistant followed by the lifting of the new teacher by his throat.

"Ah! _SUKA_!" Said teaching assistant went down hard.

"P-please calm down!" Negi attempted to diffuse the situation with words.

"SHUT UP! How did a brat like you get to be a teacher anyway?!" The boy's words bounced off. Nothing could stop her righteous crusade. Feeling a hand on her shoulder distracted her though. Seeing the blonde who should be crying in pain on the ground standing up and smiling was a major blow to her confidence.

"Asuna-chan, would you be so kind as to sit down so we can finish our introductions?" _When the hell did this perv learn my name?!_ The red head's confrontational mood was not quite diffused.

"Or you'll do what?" Alexei's smile turned evil at this, unnerving the strong willed girl.

"Oh, I don't know, announce to the class that you wear panties with pictures of bears on them? That really cleared up some questions from this morning, for which I thank you." The now blushing Asuna could tell he was enjoying this. However, she wouldn't be defeated that easily. He's a pervert, not a superhuman, he couldn't have seen her panties. _He's bluffing_. With this conclusion reached, she tightened her hold on the poor British boy. Sighing and turning to the class, Alexei began to speak.

"Hey everybody, Asuna-chan here wears pan-" But was swiftly cut off by the sound of a dropping body and a flash of red hair now located in its proper place. Negi stood up and dusted himself off, restarting his introduction.

"As I was saying, myself and Alexei will be taking over the class for Takahata-sensei. I assure you that I have the credentials to be teaching an English class, and Alexei here is simply my assistant so he does not require much in the name of education." This earned him a glare from the older boy. It was ignored, once again. "I sincerely hope we can get along this school ye-" He was once again cut off when just about every girl in the class rushed the front desk and began touching and questioning Negi. Alexei, as the unremarkable person he is, was pushed to the side by the gaggle of middle school girls.

"Hey, Negi-sensei, where are you from?" _No one asked me_. Alexei sulked.

"Ooh, ooh, what's your favorite kind of underwear?" Alexei cried.

"Negi-sensei, do you have a place to stay? If you don't, you can stay with us in our dorm!" Alexei began to unbutton his shirt and placed a switch blade he keeps for emergencies in front of his abdomen. He prepared to end it all, when suddenly-

"What exactly is going on here?" _My busty savior!_ The Russian rejoiced at the appearance of Shizuna. "Everyone, back in your seats! Negi-sensei is a teacher here just like myself, and I expect all of you to treat him with the proper respect!" At this, all of the girls slumped back to their seats, a little guilty for being reprimanded. Once they were properly seated, Shizuna turned to the ten year old.

"The floor is yours, Negi-sensei."

"T-thank you, Shizuna-sensei." She only smiled and left the room, leaving an awkward atmosphere between the teacher and his students. The Russian deemed it necessary to end the tense atmosphere.

"_TAK_!" His yell startled the students, who couldn't see him on the ground below the desks. "Now that you know us, why don't you girls introduce yourselves?" One girl, a long haired blonde with the style of a model, stood up. Giving off an aristocratic vibe, she bowed deeply to the boys in front.

"I am the class representative (_Iincho_) of 2-A, Yukihiro Ayaka, and I would sincerely like to apologize for the actions of some-" she glared at Asuna "-of the students in this class. It is an embarrassment that foreigners such as yourselves have been given such a harsh welcome." Alexei almost cried. _Here it is! The quiet, respectful Japanese women I've heard so much about!_ Negi simply sighed, glad that the class was now in order.

"I still don't accept you, brat!" The red head piped up as he was about to speak. Before either could respond, Ayaka's graceful features turned demonic.

"Shut up, its just your love for old men that keeps you from accepting someone as wonderful as Negi-sensei!" The blonde girl was now standing on her desk, challenging Asuna. Our resident pervert could not pass up a chance like this. _Hmm... black huh. Even her panties are aristocratic_. These thoughts kept him from noticing the brewing fight.

"What is it _Iincho_? Did you turn into a _shotacon_ or something?" The two girls were now butting heads. Alexei noted that this must be a regular occurrence, as their classmates were now taking bets. Sighing, he stood up from the ground, and walked over to split them up. Many girls blushed as he walked by. _My time has come!_ He failed to notice that he had forgotten to button his shirt back up, revealing a plethora of scars and a tattoo on his solar plexus. Stepping up onto the desks being used as a battle arena, Alexei placed himself between the fighting girls.

"Now now, two beautiful flowers such as yourselves should not be fighting like this! It pains my heart to see this scene!" Noticing his unbuttoned shirt, Asuna cried out and punched him in the gut.

"Shut up you pervert! Are you a streaker now too?!" Alexei doubled over in pain and sent a pleading look to Negi. The Brit only sighed.

"This is going to be a long class."

**The Fall**

"Jesus Christ, that _suka_ sure knows how to throw!" Alexei rubbed his head where Asuna had repeatedly hit him with chalk during the class period. His British friend appeared uninterested as he lounged next to a fountain, reading a book. A frown crossed the Russian's face.

"Oy! Negs! Stop ignoring me!" This caused Negi to turn his head to his companion.

"I'm not ignoring you Alexei. I was just thinking about tomorrow's lesson plan." The look the boy gave Alexei through his glasses was wise beyond his years. "What did you think of the class, anyway?" Alexei's faced became lecherous at this question.

"Well, comrade, I know one thing. 90% of the girls in that class will be missing a pair of panties by tom-" The Russian stopped when he saw a girl walking near a ledge. _How can she see where she's going?_ Her bangs drooped over her eyes, and she was carrying a stack of books taller than herself. Alexei noticed her approach the edge, and turned to his companion.

"Neg-" The younger boy was already gone, having zoomed off using his wind magic. Alexei watched from a distance as the Brit caught the girl, but the pervert's eyes widened when he noticed who was watching. Standing there in all her glory, Kagurazaka Asuna looked about ready to kidnap and water board the ten year old teacher. Before she could lay a hand on him, Alexei sprung into action, running up to her once again at inhuman speeds, and threw the red head over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

"Let go of me you per-!"

"Shut up." The Russians eyes looked genuinely frightening. Asuna stayed quiet while Alexei ran into an enclosed area.

**The Talk**

Both teens stood, staring into each others eyes. Finally, Asuna decided to speak.

"What the hell was that?"

"What the hell was what?" Alexei feigned ignorance. This angered the red head even more.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! What the hell is that brat?! What the hell are you?!" Alexei thought about this for a moment. _How should I answer her..._ Then he smiled, and pulled out his cellphone. Dialing the only number besides his sister's (a thought that made him cry), he put the phone to his ear.

"_Alyo?_ Negs, come into the woods near the library. A certain student has some questions she wants answered." The Russian then cheerfully hung up. A few awkward minutes later, the Brit in question showed up.

"Hmm? Alexei, what are you doing here alone with Kagurazaka-san?" Negi's accusing glare pierced the blondes heart.

"You have so little faith in me comrade! Do you really think I would *ahem* force a girl?" Alexei put on his best hurt expression, hand over his heart.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Asuna began to look mad from the sidelines.

"Excuse me, but can we get back to the topic?!" Both boys turned to the girl.

"What was your question, Kagurazaka-san?" The Brit looked genuinely curious.

"What the hell are you two?" And now he looked serious.

"I saw what you did with Honya-chan!" _Who the fuck is Honya-chan?_ Alexei decided to leave this to Negi. This situation was the job of the mage in charge, in this case, Negi. "You levitated her off the ground before catching her! Are you Satanists?!" _Where did that come from?_ "-Or maybe aliens?!" _Do we look like aliens to you?! _"-Or are you witches?!" _WE'RE BOTH MALE! _Noticing his partner's distress, Negi sighed.

"I believe the last one is the closest to the truth, Kagurazaka-san. The two of us are what you would call mages. And mundanes such as yourself finding this out is not the most.. optimal situation for the two of us." Alexei nodded next to him, and then joined in the explanation.

"In fact, if we're found out the two of might be executed! Well, since Negi's young he'd probably just be turned into an ermine. To prevent this, the two us are going to have to-" Asuna gasped.

"Kill me!?" Both boys blinked, confused, until Alexei started again.

"What the fuck? We're mages, not psychopaths. We're just gonna erase your memory a bit. Negs, if you may." Negi stepped forward and began to twirl his staff.

"Kagurazaka-san, you might be tad empty-headed, but I cannot allow you to tell anyone!" Asuna stepped back in fear. _Wait. Empty-head?!_ Her look of fear turned to anger just as Negi cast his spell.

"[Vanish]!" A strong wind blew through the area, signaling the activation of the spell. However, any feelings of self satisfaction vanished as well when the red head's clothing began to disappear, leaving her in only her blazer and socks.

"What the hell kind of perverted magic do you practice?!" Asuna cried out while covering her body. Negi, as the gentlemen he is, looked away. Sadly, the same could not be said for Alexei as he pulled a disposable Kodak out of his suit coat pocket. _I'm glad I bought this before we came!_ Tears of manly joy escaped his eyes. He was just winding up for a photo, when all 3 heard-

"Hey! What are you doing in there!" A certain object of a certain girls affection emerged from behind the bushes. Said girl did the only thing a girl _can_ do when her teenage crush sees her in an embarrassing position:

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

She screamed.

**The Party**

"GAH! I can't believe what the two of you have done!" After the girl had changed her clothes, she began to angrily berate the two boys. "What the hell are you even doing here as teachers?!" Negi scratched the back of his head, embarrassed, while Alexei walked behind the pair, bored out of his mind.

"Well, I came here to complete my training to become a [Magister Magi], a fully licensed mage who travels the world helping others!" Negi looked genuinely proud to have been given such a chance.

"I came 'cause my little sister forced me to accompany him and keep him out of trouble!" Asuna noticed that he had already failed at this duty.

"Right now, I'm just on what you'd call a probationary license, but it's my dream to become a [Magister Magi]! So please keep this a secret!" Asuna gave an evil smile and put her hands on the lapels of Negi's coat.

"Hoho... your job is to help people isn't it? I seeeeeeeee..." Her previously scary expression turned teary-eyed, surprising Alexei. _Is this girl schizophrenic?_

"So that means you'll take responsibility..." The girl looked really hurt. "... for me too?" Negi's gentlemanly manner wouldn't allow him to refuse her.

"Al-alright." Alexei sighed beside him. Another problem to worry about. With that, the trio began to walk to the classroom at Asuna's lead.

"So.. what can you do, as a mage?" The red head decided to strike up some conversation.

"N-not much, as I'm still in training." The Russian would've answered, but his mind was on more important things. Like where to stash his collection of porno. Not exactly the easiest thing to hide.

"Can you make love potions!" The Russian's ears perked up at this. _I think I've got a manual for those somewhere..._

"...no, sorry." Negi looked at Asuna like she was some sort of alien. The girl thought for a moment.

"How about a tree that grows money?!" This made Alexei think. _Doesn't cousin Nikolai have seeds for those?_ Negi only looked confused.

"Um... I'm not sure I understand..." Asuna began to visibly sweat. A certain pervert projected an image of her wearing bloomers.

"Nnnn... you're not very useful, are you?"

"I'm sorry... apart from mind reading, I-" The ten year old was unable to finish.

"That's it! I could use that to find out how Takahata-sensei feels about me!" Asuna began to jog to the classroom. "Let's hurry and try it out! Just let me grab my stuff from the clas-"

"WELCOME NEGI-SENSEI AND ALEXEI-SAN!" The red head was cut off as the trio entered the room. All three had dumbstruck expressions, until Asuna seemed to realize something.

"That's right, we were having a welcoming party!" She pulled out a bag of snacks. "I was going to buy this stuff when I bumped into you!" A couple of the girls came over and dragged Negi to a seat designated for him. Alexei sat down on the sidelines and watched as various girls fawned over his friend, some of them even giving him gifts. _Damnit Negs! You've grown up to be such a fine man!_ The Russian cried like a toddler who found out his mother was dead. Not a pretty sight. This inspired a certain long haired swimmer to walk up with a cup of punch and tap him on the shoulder. Alexei looked up with teary eyes.

"E-excuse me Alexei-san." The girl looked like a quiet one. Her eyes shimmered with a kind light, seemingly genuinely concerned for the older boy's well being. His manly heart melted like butter.

"Yes umm..." _Shit! I forgot her name! I should be able to remember long legs like those!_

"Okochi Akira. I noticed you were looking a bit down, Alexei-san" The girl gave him a small smile. Alexei saw Negi running between Asuna and Takamichi and sighed.

"Its nothing Akira-chan. Just the woes of a man being outshone by his juniors." The lech began to look up and down Akira's body, analyzing it. _Does she do sports? Her body's rockin'!_ The black haired girl noticed his gaze.

"I-is there something wrong, Alexei-san?" Alexei stood up and gazed over her, noticing Negi run out of the room after Asuna as he did so. Putting on his best smooth talking voice, the Russian began to speak.

"Of course not, my dear. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a body like yours." Akira blushed furiously. "Why don't you and I-" A sugary red liquid hit him in the face and drenched his clothing.

"Y-you perv! Get away from me!" The black haired girl ran off into the crowd of students, leaving Alexei alone. The boy took off his suit coat and ran a hand through his hair.

"Haaa... Better go find where Negi ran off to so we can get our stuff." Alexei began to walk through the crowd to the door. As he went, he made sure to feel the butt of every girl he walked by and check their panty type discreetly. He wasn't called the "Silent Voyeur" for nothing. _Underwear is the key to a girl's personality! I shall become a teacher _(assistant) _who understands his students through this! _Satisfied after finding out the preferences of about half the class, notably one Okochi Akira, he walked out of the room to the sound of screams and blushing faces.

"Now, where did the Headmaster say we were staying again?"

**End Chapter 2.**

**A/N: Whew. Getting the party scene and the plot dumping to be interesting was seriously a bitch. I hope it wasn't too boring. Also, the scene with Akira was one those parts I mentioned where less important girls would get the spotlight. I've always had a strange fondness for Akira's character, so expect to see more of her. R & R please! **

**Translations:**

_suka: _**"bitch"**

_tak:_** "now"**

_alyo: _**"hello" (Used in questioning way, usually when answering the phone or calling someone)**


	3. Chapter 3: From Russia with Roommates

**A/N: Yes! Another chapter! *clapping noises* So now I've completely scrapped the review limit before updating (as you can all see). This chapter is not completely canon (I really just moved some parts around) as I wanted to elaborate more on the part where Negi and Alexei move into the dorm, and the subsequent scene in the baths (you guessed it people: Alexei's bringing his waterproof camera). You also may have noticed the scene at the end of the party with Akira (kind of hard not to). This story will in fact be written in third person... objective? Whatever it is, with only a few exceptions, it'll be from Alexei's P.O.V. but in third person. Therefore certain scenes may end up cut out as Alexei will not be present for them and that time frame will instead be used as character development for him. Also, I'd like to thank DarkPaladinmon for being my first real reviewer besides my otaku friends. It means a lot. Now, enough of my boring ranting. Here's Chapter 3!**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian/Japanese terms_"

_Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Translations at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Roommates**

"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!" The old man behind the desk showed no signs of fear as a certain red head unleashed her righteous fury.

"Ohoho, Asuna-kun, but I am. The teacher's lodgings simply don't have the space for both of them, and I trust that neither you nor my granddaughter will assault Negi-sensei while he sleeps." A vein popped out on Asuna's forehead.

"But what about HIM!" The angry girl pointed an accusing finger at a blonde boy lounging off to the side, his white shirt stained red by God KNOWS what.

"I expect that Negi-sensei will be able to hold back any of his perverse tendencies. I'm sure that Konoka will also help." The black haired girl stifled a giggle when Alexei grunted angrily at the old man.

"HA! If you think Negs and a _bishoujo_ like her-" Konoka blushed "-can hold back my manly pride, you don't know me very well Pae Mae!" **(A/N: Anyone who gets this reference gets a virtual cookie)** Dean Konoe raised an eyebrow at this.

"Well then, Alexei-kun, if you truly feel that way, then I'm afraid that I'll have you room in the upstairs school building." The Russian imagined living like Great Teacher Onizuka and shuddered.

"... I'll be good." Dean Konoe smiled and turned to the now calm Asuna.

"There you have it, Asuna-kun. The four of you shall be rooming together. Negi-sensei and Alexei-kun's things have already been delivered to your room, so all you have to do is show them the way there." The red head huffed and crossed her arms.

"I have to clean up after the party. These two can find it themselves." She then angrily stomped out of the room.

"W-wait! Kagurazaka-san!" The Brit ran out after her, hoping to catch up and quell her rage. Konoemon only sighed and looked at his granddaughter.

"I assume Negi-sensei will be brought to your room by Asuna-kun, so if you may bring this, uhh, idiot-" At this point the blonde had already decided to drone out everything Dean Konoe said "-to your dorm, that would be much appreciated."

"No problem _Oji-san_!" The girl's smile seemed infectious. "I'll give him a tour of the school too, if you want!" _Konoka-chan! An angel amongst a horde of monsters hell-bent on my misery!_

"I'd rather you spend as little time alone with this lech as possible." _Screw you old man!_ The girl looked a little downtrodden. Not giving a proper welcome to new staff members seemed a little rude in her pure, untarnished mind.

"Alright, _Oji-san_..." She turned to Alexei. "Come with me Alexei-kun! I'll show you the way!" The girl then practically skipped out of the room. The Russian noticed that he had started grinning like an idiot. _How can a single person be so happy?!_ Giving one last dirty look to the Dean, Alexei walked out after Konoka, slinging his suit coat over his shoulder.

**The Walk**

"So, Alexei-kun, what do you think of the school so far?" Konoka decided to start some conversation as the duo strolled to the dorms.

"Well, if every girl here is as pretty as you, I might go insane! Ahue hue hue hue hue..." The girl only smiled, taking his words as a compliment rather than the prophecy of terror that it was. Looking at him, she noticed the discoloration of his shirt.

"Hey, Alexei-kun, what happened to your shirt?" A look of sadness appeared on the Russian's face.

"Akira-chan threw punch at me during the party..." He sniffled for added effect. Compassion welled in Konoka's eyes.

"That's terrible! Why would she do that to you?!" The girl suddenly got very close, her face only inches from Alexei's. A normal man would blush. Alexei, however, was not a normal man.

"Well, you see Konoka-chan..." He began to snake his arm around her waist, resting it on Konoka's back and leaning in. "...I may or may not have come on a little strong..." His hand descended down the girls back, to her butt and then her thigh, coloring her face all the way to her ears. "...And she may have taken offense to that." The black haired girl trembled as she felt Alexei's breath on her throat. He slowly wormed his hand into the bottom of her ski-

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM KONOKA YOU PERVEEEEEEEEEEERT!" He was, for the third time that day, kicked by an angry red head. The blonde flew comically through the air, hitting the ground a few times with his face before his body crashed through and severed a nearby tree, created an explosion-like dust storm at his point of descent.

"Konoka, are you all right?!" Asuna questioned the still blushing girl. "Did he touch you anywhere weird?!" Konoka shook her head and turned away.

"Let's go see if Alexei-kun is okay." The black haired girl began to walk in the direction of the dust cloud, stunning Asuna. Negi, who had been with Asuna, had already arrived at the scene and was helping up a strangely unharmed Alexei.

"Damnit, that _kazyol_ can seriously kick!"

"Well, that's what you get for doing something like that to her friend! And you even said you wouldn't force yourself on anyone!" The Russian only shrugged.

"It's not forcing if she doesn't say no." Negi sighed as the Russian began to check himself over. His previously stained shirt was now completely destroyed and hanging off of a fallen branch, and his black pants were ripped in many places, almost revealing his boxers. His suit coat was nowhere to be seen. _Jesus fucking Christ I liked that suit. _Alexei then looked up, noticing a worried Konoka and still angry Asuna approaching. Sighing, he rose to meet them.

"A-are you alright, Alexei-kun?" Despite everything, the kind girl still showed her concern for the pervert, a thought that brought a grin to his face.

"How the hell are you even still alive, you stupid perv?!" This made the Russian frown. How dare she wish for the death of the greatness that is him?! Instead if showing his sadness, Alexei struck back. Putting on his best flamboyant voice,

"Why, it was magic, my bear panty loving darling!" This made her blush, from embarrassment or anger we'll never know, as the Russian ran off like the wind leaving a stunned trio behind.

"How is he gonna find the dorm at this rate?"

Negi only shrugged.

**The Room**

"How the hell did I even manage to find this place?" After running around for hours and convincing an entire campus of girls that there was a blonde streaker rapist on the loose, Alexei finally manged to make it to the dorm room. Knocking three times, he began to patiently wait for an answer. After being seemingly ignored, the Russian knocked again, this time a bit harder. And a third time. And a fourth time. By the fifth, he took a few steps back and charged, intent on body checking his wooden nemesis.

"FOR STALINGR-" He was cut off as the door was opened abruptly, sending Alexei barreling into the room and tripping over a random piece of clothing, crashing hard into the opposing wall.

"HAHA! Serves you right you lech!" Asuna was rolling on the ground, laughing at his entrance, and both Negi and Konoka appeared to be holding back their laughter as well. Alexei began to fake cry.

"I see, Negi my comrade, you have abandoned me for these women!" The British boy stopped laughing and looked at Alexei curiously. "Time and time again you have shown no concern for my well being, and have only gone to the side of the females when I have been hurt!" Negi sighed.

"Well frankly Alexei, you deserve everything you get with the way you act." An imaginary knife pierced the Russian's heart.

"It appears that I have been abandoned by my best friend! I can now only rely on my brother of the soul!" Negi now looked scared.

"Wait Alexei you don't mea-"

"OH CHAMOOOOOO!" One of the drawers of the girl's clothing began to shake, and out popped a weasel looking rodent, or ermine if you will. The animal scurried past the panties that it had strewn across the ground, and jumped up onto Alexei's shoulder. The girls hurried to put away their underwear while the Russian laughed maniacally.

"There is only one being in the entire universe who can match my love for the undergarments of women!" The ermine on his shoulder put on a smug expression. "And that being is this here Chamo!" Asuna's face began to twitch.

"How the hell can you be brothers with a roden-"

"Omigod he's so CUUUTE!" Asuna was interrupted by Konoka's explosion of middle school girl _Moe Moe Kyun_ speak. The black haired girl ran up to Alexei and snatched the ermine off of his shoulder and hugged him to her chest, to which the rodent replied with snuggling.

"Chamo you traitooooor!" The blonde boy slumped to the ground, dejected that his friend would betray him so. Asuna seemed a little bit confused over how the ermine managed to get into her underwear drawer. Deciding to break the crazy mood, Negi piped up.

"So, what's for dinner?"

**The Bath**

"Stupid red head, making me sleep in the bathroom. Stupid Negi, going to bathe with all the pretty girls. _ETA TAKOY BRYET_!" Alexei screamed over his rotten luck. After dinner ("_You'll make a good wife one day Konoka-chan!" His compliment was met with."Don't go within ten feet of Konoka you perverted bastard._") the sleeping arrangements had been decided. Negi was given a comfortable loft-like area complete with a desk and his own bed, and Alexei had been locked in the bathroom with a blanket and told good night. From within his prison, the Russian found out that this was the time when all of the girls went to the shared bath to clean themselves off. Negi, being only ten, was taken along.

"Pssst, partner, you still awake?" A small voice was heard beyond the door.

"Go away you traitorous Chamo!" The Russian snuggled himself further into the wall opposing the door.

"Oh, don't be like that!" The voice, now known to be that of the ermine, sounded almost pleading. "What would you expect me to do when I'm delivered straight into the promised land?" Chamo attempted to console the Russian.

"I-i guess you're right..." The ermine let out a sigh of relief. Now that he had consoled his brother of the soul, it was time to get to business.

"Now then, partner, I believe it's time I freed you from your porcelain prison!" Chamo could hear the sixteen year old stand up behind the door as he picked the lock (Strangely located on the outside...). Once it was open, the Russian stepped out, holding a waterproof camera and wearing nothing put a Speedo (That's right. He's European damnit.). The ermine too was holding a camera, though his was ermine... sized? Both perverts nodded to each other, and sprinted out the door of the dorm room, slamming it shut as they left. Running through the hall, the two split off when the ermine leapt into an air vent and the Russian began to sneak through the changing room. Reaching the entrance to Mecca, Alexei stopped, took a deep breath, and sprinted in, hiding inside one of the bushes.

"Ne, Chizura-san, how did you get your breasts so big?" One short girl with pink hair and her twin asked the motherly girl.

"Maa maa, that's a secret~" _This is it! This is the greatest of all places on Earth and beyond!_ Alexei raised his camera and began to take picture after picture of the bathing girls. Looking up, he noticed a tiny flash from the air vents, signaling that the ermine was doing the same. They would have to do some trading later.

"Negi, are you serious?" The Russian listened carefully when he heard the red head mention his friend.

"Y-yes, Asuna-san." _When the fuck did they get you friendly? _

"You're our teacher, and you're afraid of washing your head because of the bubbles?!" Alexei almost gave himself away due to laughter. He had forgotten that the younger boy was as young as he was.

"I-it's not funny Asuna!" The Russian heard Asuna sigh.

"Whatever. Let's get this over with. Get over here so I can wash your head myself." _WHAT?! Has Negi graduated to manhood already?! This is blasphemy, blasphemy I say!_ In his anger, Alexei failed to notice that he had stood up from his hiding place. All eyes in the giant bath were now on him, in all his scarred speedo-ed glory. Noticing the hushed silence, Alexei looked around. Some girls were blushing, others looked mad, and some didn't seem to care. One red headed girl was of the second category. Seeing him holding an expensive camera didn't help her mood. Quickly throwing on a towel, Asuna began to sprint at the older boy as he waved his hands in front of him.

"N-now now Asuna-chan! I can expla-"

"Save your breath you disgusting excuse for a human being!" A foot struck the pervert's face.

_That's the fourth fucking time today!_

**End Chapter 3**

**A/N: Again, I hope that wasn't boring. Getting parts of that to come together were really hard but I felt this chapter was necessary. Don't ask why because I don't know myself. From here on out I'm going to try to keep each chapter canon (minus the part with the OC) so any who didn't like this addition can breath a sigh of relief at the fact that I won't be trying dumb plot digressions for a little while. I'll see how I'm feeling. Also, I'm sort of tossing out chapters like it's nobody's business right now but after I get off of vacation my release schedule will slow down considerably. Please don't get mad.  
**

**Translations:**

_Kazyol: _**lit. "goat" used as insult.**

_eta takoy bryet: _**"this is such..." let's go with "shit". Swears don't translate well.**


	4. Chapter 4: From Russia with Voyeurism

**A/N: Writing sure takes a lot out of you... I've had a really busy vacation, so finding time to write this was hard. Also, getting in the mood to write has been difficult due to the fact that I've been agonizing over what will happen in the next episode of Kakumeiki Valvrave. For those who are confused, it's a new anime that came out on the 12th. It's writer is the same genius who came up with Code Geass, so it has been a cause for excitement. Watch it, all of you. Anyway, this chapter's a rewrite of the second chapter of the manga, for those who were wondering (that's right. It took me 4 chapters to complete 2 manga chapters). I would once again like to thank DarkPaladinmon for their review. It means a lot that an author with as much experience (seriously a thousand reviews on one story what is this) as his/herself was interested enough to give me feedback. *sniffle* H-here's Chapter 4.**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian/English speech or Japanese terms _" _(all other speech is assumed to be in Japanese)_

_Alexei's Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Translations at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Morning**

Alexei awoke to the sound of yelling. _Goddamnit what time is it anyway?_ Checking the clock a certain red head carelessly tossed into the bathroom, he grumbled when he saw that it was only five o'clock. Laying on his side, the Russian tried to fall back asleep, but was roused again by the sound of running feet and a slamming door. The smell of eggs filled the pervert's senses. _Is that.. Konoka-chan's cooking?_ The sleep deprived idiot clawed at the door in a futile attempt to get breakfast. A few minutes later, Alexei heard the door close again as the lights went out. _Five... more... minutes... _Yawning, he embraced sleep...

"Blood brother! WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!" High pitched yelling permeated the dorm room. The Russian rose sat up with a start.

"WAAAAAAA! What's going on?! Is there a fire?! Did Negi get raped?!" Yelling incoherently, Alexei flailed around in an attempt to grasp his situation. A perverted ermine dodged the boy's erratic movements while shedding light on the situation.

"Blood brother, it's eight o'clock already!"

"So? I don't usually get up unti-" Understanding crossed his pale features. The pervert turned to his compatriot. "Chamo, I'm late, aren't I?" The ermine only nodded. "If I'm late on my first day I get punished, right?" The ermine nodded again. Alexei began to walk off, but then turned to Chamo again. "Did you develop those pictures from yesterday?" The ermine nodded again. Any worry disappeared from the blonde's face. "Alright then. Time to get to work!" Alexei began to sprint around the room, collecting clothing as he went. Throwing on a black dress shirt (cool guys don't tuck!), a pair of ash gray corduroy pants, and his heavy black boots, the Russian sprinted out the door while putting on a black trench coat.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT LITTLE SHIT FOR NOT WAKING ME UP!"

And so the first true day began.

**The Class**

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIIIIIIIIIIT!" On the sprint over, Alexei managed to knock over a grand total of 20 people, all of whom would have gotten angry if not for the fact that they had not actually SEEN the boy run by. Swerving through the hallways at breakneck pace, the Russian spotted 2-A ahead. Bringing his legs to their utmost limit, he crashed through the door to the classroom right as the first period bell rang.

"-et's begin first perio- what the?! Alexei!" And flew across said room in seemingly slow motion, crashing through the adjacent window and falling three stories to the ground below **(A/N: Idk I think that's what floor they're on. If it's not someone please tell me)**, face planting unceremoniously on the concrete walkway. All 30 people in the room looked at each other. Konoka was the first to speak up.

"Should we leave him there?" The other girls fell deep in thought. Asuna chimed in.

"I say we leave the lech as punishment." A few cheers were heard.

"N-now guys, he may be a terrible human being, but he's still technically a staff member. We can't just leave him!" Akira hoped this would be enough to convince the others. They then fell into a heavy debate, leaving a British teacher to cower in the corner as his students initiated in an extreme game of _janken_ **(rock paper scissors)**. A conclusion was swiftly reached and announced by the class president.

"Alright, we leave him! Negi-sensei, if you may continue the clas-"

"WAIT JUST A MINUTE!" The Russian appeared at the doorway, seemingly unharmed and stunning the population of the class. "How can you all unanimously decide to leave me in my time of trouble?!" No time was wasted in the retort.

"You're a pervert." A knife to his heart.

"It's 'cause you're a perv." And another.

"You're a terrible excuse for a human being." And another. Negi, hoping to end his friend's suffering, spoke up.

"Can we start class now?..." All the girls in the room turned to him.

"Yes Negi-sensei!" And so it did. Alexei seated himself lazily on a chair next to the teacher's desk, and Negi opened his copy of the textbook.

"Everyone, please open your textbooks to page 76. I will read first." The young teacher cleared his throat. "_The fall of Jason the flower. Spring came. Jason the flower was born on a branch of a tall tree. Hundreds of flowers were born on the tree. They were all friends._" The Russian was bored. _That is literally the most retarded story I have ever heard._ Negi turned to the class. "Now, who should I get to translate from this point on?" The Brit looked to the students one by one, all of whom averted their gazes, looking sheepish. Wondering what to do, Negi turned to Alexei, who had an epiphany.

"Hey, Asuna-chan, why don't you translate it for us."

"W-why are you picking on me?! Usually it goes by row or date!" If looks could kill.

"It's 'cause you kicked me." Astonishment was evident on her face.

"W-wha- you're still on about that?!" The girl was now standing, ready to fight, until a haughty voice cut in.

"To cut a long story short, Asuna-san doesn't understand the material! I, the class president, will read it instead..." Ayaka's eyes goaded the red head into doing it herself.

"F-fine. I get it, I'll translate it. Let's see..." Sending one last pleading look to her teacher, Asuna started to... translate. "_Jason... Fell off the top of a flower... spring arrived? Jason and the flower... _um... _ate brunch by tall tree... there were a hundred... bones..._um..._ the bones... the tree's..._" Alexei decided to cut into this sorry display.

"Wow, you seriously suck at English." Negi nodded in agreement.

"Wha-" The whole class began to chatter.

"Not only is she bad at English, she's bad at Maths too!"

"And Japanese-"

"-Home Economics and Civics too-"

"-In other words, she's an IDIOT! All she's good at is P.E.!" The finishing blow for the fuming girl. Like a coach charging an umpire, Asuna practically attacked the younger boy. Alexei smiled evilly from his seat. _Negi's nose is gonna get ticklish... hue hue hue hue..._ Sure enough, the ten year old began to look troubled.

"Ah.. ah... ah-" Alexei pulled out the new camera he bought after Asuna broke his last one.

"ACHOO!" The girl's school uniform was blown off of her body, leaving her standing there in only her white bra, panties, and a camisole.

"Oh, Asuna-chan, you're such a naughty girl! And you were calling me a streaker?" The Russian taunted the blushing girl while snapping pictures amongst the rest of the stunned class.

Both boys received a major beating.

**The Potion**

"That was quite the show, I must say..." The Russian mused while laying on the roof of the school building and watching over Negi from afar, not really sympathizing with the younger boy's sadness. "Aw come on Negs, _uspakoytiys._" Negi was currently curled up in a fetal position and an atmosphere of gloom hung over his head. Alexei observed as a group of three girls walked up to Negi and talked to him. _Ohoho. The one with the glasses has big gazongas. Wait, isn't that the girl Negi saved yesterday?_ The pervert continued to watch as the other two said something to the Brit, causing the shy girl to freak out and run away. _ Shiiiiiit. Don't tell me the girl's in love with a kid his age?!_ An idea came into his messed up head, and he decided to tail the three from the rooftops.

Jumping occasionally from rooftop to rofftop, but otherwise walking at a leisurely pace, Alexei watched as the three girls split ways. _Eenie meenie minie moe._ The pervert decided by breast size and went after the glasses girl. He watched through the windows as she went into the dorm building and walked up to her dorm. Spotting a window leading into her room, Alexei leaped and grabbed onto a ledge with one hand. Pulling himself up with practiced ease, the Russian sneaked into the room through the window. He could hear the distinct sound of a running shower as he ruffled through the various drawers. When he came upon a particular one-

"HAHA! _Ya viygral!_" -the lech pulled out a large-cup bra and a matching pair of panties. Stuffing his loot into the inside jacket pocket of his trench coat, Alexei pulled out his camera and sneaked over to the bathroom, opening the door just a crack. Luckily for his goals, the showers in the school had glass doors rather than curtains. Taking pictures, Alexei could only admire the spectacle that he came across.

"They're even bigger without all the clothes on..." The lech said it too loud, as the showering girl turned to the door and met his eyes.

"IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Even a perverted _fujoshi_ like Haruna would scream if she found some random guy peeping on her when she showered. A scream of this magnitude would usually be enough to catch your common Peeping Tom. However, Alexei didn't get a moniker like "Silent Voyeur" for nothing. Rather than running,

"Sorry, glasses-chan. I just couldn't resist!" The Russian winked at the blushing girl, and then quickly put on a wide-brim fedora he keeps on him to cover his face (just roll with it). Stashing his camera back into his trench coat, Alexei jumped out the window and into the building across the street. Haruna ran up to the open window, wearing nothing but a towel, and searched around for where the voyeur could have gone, to no avail.

"I could have sworn that was Alexei-san..." Shrugging, the girl decided to get it out of her head and start her work.

Elsewhere, said pervert was hiding amongst bookshelves in the library whilst admiring his catch.

"Chamo definitely needs to see this... hue hue hue..." Stashing the prize once more, the Russian began to walk out of the room he landed in, but was abruptly stopped when he reached the door.

"Why the fuck is it barricaded with books?" Frowning, Alexei began to move the mess when he heard a shout.

"Alexei! Help!" Turning around, he almost fainted on the spot. There on the ground was a sight his mortal mind couldn't even begin to fathom. Negi was laying on a stack of books, on top of him one Nodoka Miyazaki. Her clothes half off, the situation screamed rape. _Why did my question from this morning come true?! _

"Alexei, get her off of me!" The younger boy seemed genuinely frightened. Instead of helping, the older boy turned his head and pouted.

"Why should I help you when you're having all the fun!"

"That's not funny! A teacher shouldn't be doing this with his students!" Negi struggled as the normally shy girl began to unbutton his shirt. Deciding that this was getting too far, Alexei ran up and pulled the horny girl off of her teacher, binding her arms behind her back.

"Noooooo! I want Senseiiiiiii!" The girl struggled to pull her arms free of her captor's grip.

"Jesus Christ her strength is abnormal! What the hell did you do to make her want you so badly?!" _I wanna use this on all the girls in the class!_ The Brit stood up and adjusted his clothing back into place.

"I made a love potion using the pills that grandpa gave me to make it up to Asuna-san for this morning..."

"So why did it end up used on this girl?" The boy was so pure, making something as an apology.

"Well, Asuna-san didn't believe me and made me drink it, and then all the girls in the class started coming after me!" _That is some strong love potion..._Alexei heard yelling from outside, and then Asuna's distinctive angry voice.

"Negi! I'm coming in!" Both boys watched in horror as the door was smashed apart, the books that were previously there flying in all directions.

"_Oy bla_-" And through the rubble, a familiar foot flew and struck the Russian in the knads.

"NEGI I'M HERE TO- save you?..." Asuna trailed off when she surveyed the situation. One half dressed ten year old boy standing there embarrassed, one sixteen year old boy rolling on the ground and gathering his bearings with a bound thirteen year old draped over his back. The library was thoroughly destroyed, and only the red head stood completely unscathed.

"Did I... make the situation worse?" Guilt ran over her features as she watched the Russian nurse his wounds.

"Yes Asuna-chan. Yes you did."

**End Chapter 4.**

**A/N: Again, sorry that took so long compared to the other chapters. My life has returned to it's normal hectic levels and I actually worked on this during my free period at school. I've decided to set a Wednesday deadline, so if there is not a new chapter up each week before that day, then PM me to see what the fuck I'm wasting time for. I'll give the best explanation I can for my actions.**

_Uspakoytiys: _**"Calm down"**

_Ya viygral: _**"I won"**

_Oy blat: _**"Oh fuck [lit. whore]"**


	5. Chapter 5: From Russia with Extra Help

**A/N: Not really anything to say this time. Just that I'm not gonna dedicate full chapters to some of the less story driven chapters of the manga, and just gonna mention that they happened if they're not important (in my opinion). Otherwise, I'll never finish this and still be interested when I'm done. So yeah. Enjoy.**

**DarkPaladinmon: Don't worry. She's on the "hit list"**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian/English speech or Japanese terms _" _(all other speech is assumed to be in Japanese)_

_Alexei's Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Translations at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Shower**

Alexei once again woke up to the sound of shouting. He wasn't locked in the bathroom today because Asuna said she needed the shower in the morning. Instead, the older boy slept on the floor of the closet. Stumbling out in nothing but his sweat pants, he walked into the living room area and noticed Konoka smiling at the ruckus. Yawning, the Russian caught the girl's attention.

"Konoka-chan, what's with all the noise?"

"Well, Negi-kun wanted to help Asuna wash her back and she got mad. They're so close it's cu-" She noticed his state of undress and blushed, staring at the tattoo on his solar plexus.

"See something you like?" Alexei winked at her. The black haired girl shook her head.

"I've just been meaning to ask, what's that tatto-"

"I wonder what's on the news!" The Russian cut her off. Sighing, the girl turned to continue making breakfast while Alexei stared intently at the CNN newscaster.

"_In other news, break-ins similar to the modus operandi of the "Silent Voyeur" of Wales have been happening all over central Japan, particularly in the area around the highly prestigious Mahora Academy. Japanese authorities have been unable to identify any suspects, though they believe it to be the same culprit as in Wales due to the sudden ceasing of activity in the British territory._" Alexei chuckled to himself, thinking about his ever growing stash of used lingerie. Hearing a door fly open, he turned to look down the hall.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU JERK!" There, standing there in her birthday suit, was an angry red headed middle school girl. Negi ran away from her as she picked up nearby items and threw them at him. Sighing, Alexei stood up to shield the screaming boy.

"Asuna-chan, what are you doing to your teacher?" _Those curves I say!_

"I'm delivering divine punishment!" Her eyes were determined, and this confidence caused her to drop the towel she was holding in front of her assets.

"Naked? I mean, I don't mind, but-" The Russian stepped forward, showing off his unclad torso. "-We're gonna need to get a special room for this kind of thing." Asuna realized where he was steering the conversation-

"Shut up you stupid perv!" -and punched him right in the floating rib. Feeling a crack, Alexei fell to the floor clutching his side as the red head stomped away to get dressed. Negi knelt down to his side.

"Alexei, how do we get Asuna-san to not hate us?" The younger boy had tears in his eyes. The older groaned.

"I don't believe that it's possible to be liked by that bitch."

**The After-class Lesson**

"I say Negi, _perestyan plakat_." The two boys were lounging in the teacher's office after classes ended. Negi appeared to be crying due to his misfortunes.

"B-but all I do is cause trouble for Asuna-san! A-at this rate, I'll never become a good teacher, let alone a [Magister Magi]!" He slammed his face onto his desk and began to cry. Sighing, Alexei leaned back to get some more sleep, when a familiar person showed herself.

"Why hello there walking breas- Shizuna-sensei!" The blonde woman did not seem to notice his slip up and smiled, but then noticed Negi's sorry state.

"Hello there, Alexei-kun. What seems to be wrong with Negi-sensei?" The Russian shrugged.

"He's just moping about 'cause he thinks he's a bad teacher. Pay him no mind." Shizuna shook her head.

"It's my job to give advice to people of the school, whether student or teacher." She tapped the younger boy on the shoulder, and he looked up.

"Negi-sensei, I have the after-class list here for you." He listened intently.

"After-class list?" Shizuna smiled knowingly.

"Yes. This is the list of students who stay after for extra help in English due to especially low scores. Takahata-sensei used to teach it, but now that you've replaced him I believe that duty falls to you." Negi took the membership list from her hand and began to look over it, Alexei peeking over his shoulder. Seeing Asuna on the list, he began to laugh.

"PWAHAHAHAHA! I'm a drop out and I didn't do that bad! AHAHA!" Negi chuckled along with him.

"Well, she is notoriously bad at English." Shizuna cut in after the two finished their exchange.

"Actually, it seems she enjoys going to the after-class lessons." _AHAHA! It's pretty obvious why that is!_ Alexei was still laughing as Negi stashed the list in his briefcase.

"Alright, Shizuna-sensei, I'll teach the after-class lesson!"

After finishing some paperwork, both boys walked back to the classroom, where the girls were already waiting for them. A short girl with long dark blue hair stepped up to the front. _She was one of the ones with Nodoka-chan yesterday... what's her name again? Ayase something or other?_ The girl cleared her throat and began to speak.

"And so... 2-A's Baka Rangers have assembled!" Three of the other girls, a Chinese, a pink-haired gymnast, and a tall girl with a close eyed expression, all seemed proud of this fact.

"WHO'S A BAKA RANGER!" One Kagurazaka Asuna was not.

"So I can't study! So what! This school's just an escalator school anyway! It's not like I can't go to high school!" She crossed her arms and turned away from the other girls. Alexei called out from his perch on the windowsill.

"Your grades are even worse than mine were!" Asuna stood steadfast. "And I was so bad I dropped out!" And now she wavered. Negi delivered the killing blow.

"But Asuna-san, Takamichi would be so sad to see how bad your English grades are!" The boy even put on a hurt expression to demonstrate his point.

"F-fine... All I've got to do is take the class, right?" _Negi you evil little bastard. Her love for Takamichi wins over her hatred of me any day!_ Negi addressed the other girls.

"I've made a small quiz out of ten points for review. Get at least a six, and you may leave."The five girls set to work on their tests. The first one done was the short expressionless girl.

"Wow Ayase-san! A nine out of ten on your first try!" Negi's praise did not wipe away the blank look on her face.

"It's because I hate studying that I do so bad..." She then walked out with Nodoka and Haruna, making plans to go to the bookstore. The tall girl, the Chinese, and the pink hair were next to be done.

"Nagase-san-" _The tall one?_ "-you got an eight out of ten, _good job_!" She only smiled.

"I will take my leave now, de gozaru." _She a samurai or something?_ The Chinese girl stepped up and Negi graded her test.

"Ku Fei-san, you got a seven out of ten, you may leave." Ku Fei bowed lightly.

"Thank you, I still learn Japanese, have to do best-aru." This left the pink hair.

"Sasaki-san, you just barely pass with a six out ten!" Negi gave her back her test.

"Sorry for being dumb, sensei." This left only a certain red head working. Alexei went over to check on her progress, and what he saw made him fall over and laugh.

"AHYAHYAHYA! Do you even pay attention in class?!" The veins popped out in Asuna's head.

"Shut up asshole! Aren't teaching assistants supposed to be supportive?!" The Brit walked over to see what the fuss was all about. What he saw nearly gave him a heart attack.

"You got... a two..." The usually fiery girl slumped onto her desk while the Russian continued laughing. Negi then remembered something.

"Hold on you two, I forgot that I need to talk to Takamichi about something! Alexei, keep giving her the test and correcting it until she gets a better score, okay?" The boy ran off before either could say anything. An awkward silence pervaded every corner of the room. Alexei was the first to speak again.

"Soooooooo..." Asuna glared angrily at him. "Why don't you study, and whenever you're ready, take it again and I'll grade it." The older boy sauntered over to the teachers desk and put his feet up, falling into a light sleep. The girl began to study angrily and scribbled some new answers onto a fresh quiz. After about ten minutes, she stomped up to the front of the room and slammed her second try onto the desk.

"How's that?!" Alexei opened one eye and scanned it over.

"How did you do worse this time when you're taking the same test? I guess there's a reason you're the leader of the Dumbass Brigade."

"ARGHHHH! Fine, I'll take it again!" She ripped up her paper and started on a new one. After another ten minutes, she brought up her third try. Alexei looked it over, and made sure to sound impressed.

"Oooh a three, you're getting better!" Asuna slammed her head against the desk.

"GODDAMNIT WHY AM I STUCK WITH YOU!" She then went back for another go. This cycle continued for a good two hours, until Negi walked in, speaking with Takamichi. The older man noticed the two teenagers talking, and felt the need to comment.

"Ohoho, Asuna-kun's here as usual. Don't tell me you came just to be alone with Alexei?" Takamichi winked at the girl, and the boy smirked.

"_Eta pravda_ Takamichi, she can't resist me!" Asuna attempted to cut in.

"T-takahata-sensei there's no way me and this perv-" But was cut off by her crush.

"Well then, I'll be taking my leave. You kids have fun!" Silence engulfed all involved parties, until what the teacher just sank into the red head's mind. So she did the only thing she could.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She cried and ran off. Both boys could only stand there stunned at the spectacle.

"..." Negi grabbed his staff from its perch next to the desk and sighed.

"Go after her, Alexei. I'll catch up." The older boy frowned at this.

"Why the fuck do I have to go?" The younger poked him in the ribs.

"Because you're faster, that's why."

"Fiiiiiiiiiine." And so he ran, at speeds unrecognizable to the untrained eye, propelled only by his physical strength. Listening for sobbing, Alexei quickly spotted Asuna and began to follow her.

"Oy, quit running!" He called out in an attempt to slow her down.

"NOOOOOO! TAKAHATA-SENSEI THINKS WE'RE DATING!" They ran for a while, with Alexei occasionally trying to calm the upset girl and her only throwing back insults. The running stopped when they reached one of the beaches by Mahora Lake, Negi not trailing too far behind.

"*huff*... so you could...actually... keep up with me." Asuna addressed Alexei, trying to catch her breath.

"Please. You're slow as shit." Asuna was too tired to make a rebuttal. Negi flew up behind the two on his staff and walked up to the Russian.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Alexei nodded.

"I'm no good at comforting people." Negi agreed, remembering all of the times the perverted boy had tried to comfort his little sister and failed miserably. The younger boy walked up and sat back to back with the girl, leaving the older boy to himself off to the side. There was a comfortable silence, until Asuna spoke up.

"Would you stop making weird plans to make me feel better?" Negi took exception to this.

"B-but, I'm your teacher! And helping those in trouble is the job of a [Magister Magi]..." He trailed off, and Asuna didn't seem to completely accept his answer.

"Why... why do you try so hard, anyway?" Negi pondered how the answer.

"Actually... there is someone I admire very much." Asuna's ears perked up. "Everybody says this person is dead... But I don't believe that he is! A man who mastered a thousand spells with ease, the most powerful of all mages, the "Thousand Master"! While he traveled the world, he helped countless people..." _The little snots talking about his old man..._ "That's why I want to become a great mage, just like that man. If I do, perhaps one day, somewhere in this great big world, I can meet him again..." Asuna scratched her head.

"Fine, I get it! All I have to do is study right?! To be a great Magis... whatever, you need to succeed as a teacher, so I'll cooperate!" Alexei deemed this a good time to add his input.

"Hey, Asuna-chan, will you listen to my life story and dreams to too?" She smiled crookedly at him.

"Why would I give a crap about panty stealing assholes like you?" The Russian's shoulders drooped.

"Fine! I don't care about you either!" He began to stomp off when Negi called out to him.

"Where are you going, Alexei?!"The older boy stopped, turned around, and gave the younger boy a winning smile with a thumbs up.

"A maid cafe with a littler sister theme!" He then walked off, attempting to look cool.

"There's a reason people find him creepy..." Asuna was only disgusted.

"He's probably just lonely without Anya around, let him be. Konoka-san's probably cooked dinner already, want to head back?"

And so the two walked off, a little bit closer, and one idiot ran away, farther than ever from his goal.

**End Chapter 5.**

**A/N: Not gonna lie. Compared to every other chapter, I hated writing this one so much. However, I felt it was necessary to do an introduction of Nagi Springfield in some way or another since he's a major motivator for Negi's actions and I didn't just want to randomly throw in his existence when I got to the part with Evangeline. So yeah. Tell me what you think.**

_perestyan plakat: _**"Stop crying"**

_Eta pravda:_** "This is/That's true"**


	6. From Russia with Volleyball

**A/N: I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYY! My computer broke, and then I had projects, and finals, and then I went to China, and then summer started and procrastination kicked in so I watched a shit ton of anime, and AAAAAAAHHHHH. Fuck me. I'll try to be more punctual from now on. Though the chapter after this may take quite a bit more time because I'm going to bundle all five parts of 'The Great Baka Rangers and the Secret Library Island Final Exam Operation' into one chapter, all while taking multiple AP classes and teaching small children martial arts. And lets not forget trying to find a job to pay for my goddamn car insurance. I'm sorry for my whining. Anyway, expect the next update... sometime.**

**DarkPaladinmon: It's going to be... interesting, to say the least. You'll get no spoilers from me.**

**leo247: On the subject of Yue, I'm trying to keep this as canon as possible so having her fall in love with Alexei would kinda fuck shit up later in the story. Akira's fair game though and I think I kind of set her up for it since chapter two. Because I have a strange fondness for Akira. I feel like Akamatsu-sensei neglected her just a little bit.**

"Speech"

"_Use of Russian/English speech or Japanese terms _" _(all other speech is assumed to be in Japanese)_

_Alexei's Thoughts/Foreign terms _(e.g. _Yamato Nadeshiko_)

[Spell/Magical Artifact]

**Translations at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mahou Sensei Negima or any intellectual property related to it.**

**The Problem**

Four girls stood in the school's empty volleyball court, passing a volleyball back and forth, when a certain pink hair decided to speak up.

"Hey, it's been five days since Negi-kun and Alexei-kun arrived... What does everyone think of them so far?" The other three girls pondered this question, and a black haired girl with one pigtail was the first to answer.

"Well, Negi-kun's not bad, he's cute and he tries really hard at teaching..." She bounced the volleyball to the girl across from her. "But Alexei-kun's a whole 'nother story..." A silver haired girl set the ball into the air and gave her opinion.

"He's not bad to look at, so if he wasn't such a pervert he'd be a pretty great guy, but with the way he acts there's no way he'll ever get a girlfriend..." A black haired swimmer with a long ponytail bumped the ball with one arm.

"I-i bet under all that he's really nice..." She blushed when her friends gave her knowing grins, and frantically changed the subject. "A-anyway, n-next year is exam year, right? Is it really okay to rely on a child teacher and a guy the same age as us?" The girl with the pigtail just shrugged.

"So what? This place is an escalator school until university!" The pink hair laughed at her response.

"In the end the problem is that there's just some stuff you can't talk to them about like you can with Takahata-sensei..." The pigtail girl put on a perverted face.

"Instead, we should be listening to Negi's 'problems'." The pink hair joined her.

"You mean as his 'Experienced _Onee-samas'_?" She knocked the ball to the side, but no one caught it. Turning to who should have set it, the middle school girl began her reprimand. "Sheesh, catch the ball properly, why don't y- EEK!" The four middle school girls seemed frightened by the presence of the newcomers.

"You guys, 'Exprerience _Onee-samas_'? Don't make us laugh." Shadows closed in over the group of friends.

Back in the school building, Negi was correcting papers in the teachers office while Alexei lounged next him.

"Negi, I'm booooooored!" The Russian groaned shuffling back in forth in his seat like a child.

"Alexei, I have papers to grade. Also, isn't it your job to help me with these?" Negi gave the older boy a glare, to which Alexei just whistled innocently.

"I have no idea what you're on about..." Sighing, the ten year old teacher went back to his work, while Alexei preoccupied himself with a swimsuit mag he keeps in his desk. _Why can't something exciting happen? Like a swimsuit car wash, or a swimsuit contest, or the explosion of a truck carrying aphrodisiacs!_ As he lamented his... terrible fortune, two of the girls from 2-A, a silver hair and a pink hair came running into the office while crying.

"WAAAAAAAAAH! Negi-sensei, Alexei-kun!" The two boys noticed their distressed state and stood to meet them.

"What is it Ako-chan, Makie-chan?" Alexei was the first to speak up. The two girls retold what happened in between sobs.

"T-there's a f-fight on the school grounds!" _Isn't this an all-girls school for refined ladies? Minus Asuna-chan, of course._ "T-the students from the h-high school suddenly c-came and kicked us out of the volleyball court, when we were using it f-first!" Negi rushed out of the room the second the girls finished with their story.

"It's my duty as a teacher to stop this!" Alexei looked on as the younger boy ran at top speed while waving his arms.

"I have a feeling this isn't going to end well... You girls stay here, okay? I'll go see what those stupid bitches want from our cute students." He gave them what he thought was a sexy smile then promptly speed walked out after Negi. Makie and Ako looked at each other.

"It doesn't really sound all that reassuring coming from him..."

"Kinda creepy, really." Alexei had no idea this exchange took place, as he was already outside, watching as the high school girls kicked Akira and a girl whose name he hadn't learned out of the court. Negi was already yelling (he was not intimidating in the least) at the oppressors, seemingly very nervous.

"W-who is it that's been picking on the students from my class! B-bullying on others isn't nice! I-i'm a teacher and I'm going to get mad!" Alexei facepalmed. _That last line. So uncool._ Before he could make his move, the stunned high schoolers did the the unexpected (_or was it expected?_). They swarmed Negi the same way the girls of 2-A had.

"He's so cute!" Alexei sank to his knees.

"Hey no fair I called dibs already." _Women don't call dibs on me_.

"KYAAA! Let me touch him too!" The Russian had enough. He stood up and began to stomp over, when he heard a familiar voice.

"Cut it out, you old hags!" And a volleyball struck him right in the back of the head. The gaggle of older girls turned to look at the source of noise interrupting their molestation of a ten year old boy. Noticing the boy on the ground, question marks rose above their heads.

"What's a guy his age doing at an all-girls school?" Alexei ignored them and stood up.

"Oy, _suka_! Why the fuck are you throwing those at ME?!" Asuna threw another ball and struck him to the ground.

"Shut up pervert! We're talking to the hags!" Ayaka walked up next to the red head and addressed the offenders.

"This place was already in use by 2-A. Why don't you old ladies move along before you overextend yourselves?" A cry of rage was heard from the group of seniors. Asuna cut in before they could object.

"Just because you're older doesn't give you a right to push others around! So why don't you scram!" The girl seemingly in charge of the high schoolers stepped forward.

"I've heard of you two, Kagurazaka Asuna and Yukihiro Ayaka... despite being middle schoolers, you're quite renowned." Asuna and Ayaka began to look a little smug. "Despite that, you'd better do as your seniors say... kids like you should go play in some little corner of their own!" The two sides began to bear their fists at each other., when Alexei rose between the two sides.

"_PADAZHDIYTE_!" His voice boomed through the entire volleyball court, silencing everyone. The Russian took a deep breath, and noticed Takamichi standing off to the side. _In case this gets out of hand I can always rely on "Death Glasses Takahata"!_ He then began to speak.

"You girls hafta settle your problems without violence!" The girl at the head of the high schoolers gave him a funny look.

"... who are you anyway?" This only brought a proud smirk to his face.

"Ohohoho? You wish to know who I am?" His trench coat waved in the wind, and he pointed a righteous finger at the high school girl. "I am the mighty Alexei Yurievich Kokolov, 16 years old, and the assistant teacher of this here class 2-A! Men want to be me! Women want to be with me! Animals strangely keep their distance!" A stunned silence pervaded the court.

"He's also a dumbass pervert." Asuna's comment brought a frown to his face.

"As I was saying before we got off topic, you girls can't fight! This situation must be solved fairly and without any of your beautiful bodies being hurt!" Both sides lost their fighting spirit as he spoke. Negi rushed in the fill the gap.

"I-instead of fighting, why don't you girls have a sports competition? We're already on the outdoor volleyball court, so it'd be easy enough to set up!" The Brit looked expectantly at both sides. Alexei noticed Takamichi nod and walk off, seemingly content. Asuna spoke first in response to Negi's idea.

"Let's do this! If we win, you guys will never bother us again!" The leader of the high schoolers only smirked.

"Fine. But if we win-" She and a few other girls came up and hugged Negi from behind, distressing the boy. "-we get little Negi-sensei here as our teacher!" Audible gasps were heard from the side of 2-A. Alexei was the only one to seriously deliberate the proposal. _If they win, I get to be the only one teaching 2-A! More bitches for me! _Thus, he declared.

"Alright, it's a deal!"

**The Match**

POP! A hand held cannon in the hands of a robot girl launched fireworks into the air while the three cheerleaders encouraged their classmates. A few of the less social girls sat off to the side watching with bored expressions, with Alexei gritting his teeth in hopes of a swift victory for the highschool girls. The Russian let out his perverted grin and laugh, scaring off the girls sitting near him.

As Negi seemingly pondered something, the first ball flew and struck him in the side of the head, knocking him over. This ball was caught in midair by Asuna.

"Stop being a liability, you damn Negi-brat!" The fiery girl threw the ball back, hitting one of the high school girls and knocking her out.

"Hell yeah! Don't look down on us just because we're younger!" The leader of the highschoolers was not fazed in the least. Grinning, the girl grabbed the ball mocked Asuna.

"It seems that you still don't understand..." The smug girl jumped into the air.

"Ultimate Deathblow Technique!" _Her body may be older but she has the mental age of a five year old_. Alexei's musings were interrupted by the screams of twenty middle school girls scrambling to get out of her line of fire. Instead of an extreme throw however, the girl lightly lobbed the ball in the direction of the crowd. The ball bounced off of their heads and took out multiple girls in one go.

"And again!" This time she closed her eyes, and the ball managed to bounce of four of 2-A's players. Both Asuna and Ayaka had shocked expressions on their faces. Then something dawned on the red haired girl.

"Just a minute! Having more people on your team in dodgeball is actually a disadvantage! The more people we have, the easier it is for everyone to get hit!" The class president turned on Asuna.

"Then why'd you agree to those terms you idiot?!" Alexei sniggered again. _All according to plan_. A mad rush began on the side of 2-A as the girls realized the situation they were in. The leader of the highschoolers grabbed the ball again and pointed a Nodoka.

"AHAHA! Don't turn away from the other team! You're next!" She casually launched the ball at the shy girl. Right as it was about to make contact, Asuna jumped in the way and caught the missile. Sighing, the red head asked Nodoka if she was okay. Some other girls let out what sounded like a compliment.

"Hell yeah! Thank god for Asuna's _baka_ power!" Asuna glared at them briefly, but quickly turned her attention to their opponents.

"I'll show you the power of middle schoolers!" Asuna threw the ball through the air at an unprecedented velocity. However, the lead highschooler caught the ball with ease.

"Hmmm. Is that all you got?" The girl gave a shit eating grin.

"Oh no! Not even Asuna's _baka_ power was enough!" The red head turned on her team mates.

"Would you shut the hell up about '_baka_ power'?!" 2-A's opponents began to snigger at their antics. Nodding to each other, the lead girl caught the group of middle schooler's attention.

"I believe it's about time we stopped beating around the bush, and revealed who we truly are!" The 2-A girls were extremely confused as the high school girls collectively threw off their school uniforms. _Bloomers FTW!_ "Kantou's Regional Dodgeball Tournament Championship Team! Mahora Academy's Dodgeball Club '_Kuroyuri_'!" A stunned silence pervaded the court.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And was swiftly dispelled by a creepy teaching assistant. "HAHA- I thought guys were- BAHA- refined ladies- PFFFT- but you're still playing dodgeball seriously at your age? AHAHAHAHA!" The high schoolers took exception to that.

"Who the hell asked you anyway?! I asked around before the match started, and you're just a creepy peeping tom! Don't you feel any shame?!" Alexei stood up and strolled to the center of the court.

"My dear, Voyeurism is an art form practiced by mature adults! Comparing my refined habits with your childish games is blasphemy!" A rarely seen fire burned in his eyes. "If you truly think immature children like yourselves can beat me, I beg you, TRY!" The high school girls backed off a bit.

"W-wait. Aren't you the same age as us?" Alexei smirked.

"Physically, yes I am. But mentally, I'm a lonely 40 year old salaryman living in a 2LDK who passes the time by stealing the underwear of his neighbor's underage daughter!" Everyone in the court put on a look of disgust.

"Is that really something to be proud of...?" The girls whispered amongst themselves.

"And so! To demonstrate my superiority, I'm going to join 2-A's team!" Alexei took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves.

"Wait a second! Who said you could join?!" The highschool girls cried out.

"Awwww. Are you ladies scared you're going to lose when our side already has a huge handicap?" The pervert's taunting appeared to work.

"Fine, you can play! As if a sorry excuse for a human being like you could ever be a help to them." Alexei disregarded her words and took up a position near the back of the court. The highschool girls, holding the ball, huddled together and made a plan. Nodding to each other, three of the girls ran off in different directions.

"Hmm. I, Yukihiro Ayaka will handle this!" The blonde class president ran up to the front of the court and prepared for an attack. The first girl threw the ball, narrowly missing Ayaka.

"Ha! Is that all you've got?!" The middle schooler began to gloat prematurely as the ball bounced from the first opponent to the second one. Ayaka, noticing this too late, turned as the ball flew by and was caught by the third girl, who promptly hit Ayaka's back. A dazed blonde girl stood up and walked to the sidelines.

"W-what just happened? What kind of formation is that?" Konoka walked up next to her.

"It's a triangle!" And stated the obvious. The highschool girls continued to use their theoretically impossible formation to knock out more of the girls, with only Negi, Asuna, and Alexei having any luck in dodging their attacks.

"Hmm. It seems the three of you are a cut above the rest. We'll just have to bring out another one of our secret techniques! [Secret Deathblow: Solar Strike]!" The lead highschooler leaped into the air, catching the sun behind her. Asuna, still watching her, was forced to shield her eyes.

"Damn! There's too much glare!" And then was promptly knocked down by a strike from above.

"And again!" Another ball was thrown with even more strength, scraping the red head's body against the ground. Negi ran up to check on her as she attempted to stand.

"Asuna-san! Are you alright?!" The older girl waved a hand at him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just a light graze!" Fury burned in the younger boy's eyes. As he tended to the girl, Alexei addressed the highschool girls.

"You know, I'm pretty sure hitting someone twice is against the rules of dodgeball." The girls simply looked away and twirled the ball.

"Ha! Victory is victory no matter how it's gained, that is the policy of _Kuroyuri_!" Many of the 2-A girls cried out at this.

"That's despicable!"

"Completely disregarding the rules and others feelings!"

"Don't you feel ashamed?!"

"Not a bad policy." Everyone in the court stared stunned at Alexei's approval. "In the real world, rules often hinder progress and your own prosperity. Honor and the such are silly _bryet_, having no place within the horrors of society. 'The end justifies the means', as Machiavelli was fond of saying." The older boy then turned to Negi, smirking. "So _moy brat_. I believe it's time we fought fire with nuclear warheads, no?" Negi nodded and began chanting under his breath.

"_Rastel mascir-_" A strong wind began to blow. "_aer- _OW!" But was interrupted by a bonk on Negi's head. The Brit turned to find Asuna standing behind him with a reprimanding look on her face.

"There's no glory in winning unfairly! If you're a real man, you'll win this fair and square!" _No Asuna-chan! Don't fill his little head with stupid shit!_ Negi however, ate up her words and turned to those of his class still in the game.

"Alright everyone! We're gonna win this fair and square! Don't turn away and run when the ball comes by, as that makes you an easy target!" Negi's advice seemed to rejuvenate the girls, who all stood forward proudly.

"LET'S GO EVERYONE!"

"Fufu... You just don't know when to quit, do you!" The girl leaned forward with a smug expression. "It was pointless for middle schoolers to try and go up against high schoolers in the first pla-"

"FIVE SECOND RULE!" A voice cut into the middle of her monologue.

"...eh?" All of the highschool girls turned to see Nodoka, holding a rule book in front of her.

"T-The rulebook says that it's an offense to hold the ball without throwing it for more than five seconds!" Ayase, standing next to the shy girl, held out her hands.

"Hand over the ball please." The older girls reluctantly gave the ball to their juniors. In quick succession, the 2-A girls began to dominate the high schoolers using tricks from the various clubs they were in. Ako from the soccer club knocked back ball with kicks, Yuuna from the basketball club dunked onto their heads, and Makie used her gymnastics ribbon (this was obviously against the rules) to turn the ball into a ball and chain like Go-Go. In the end, the middle school girls' questionable techniques won them the match, leaving the high school girls dazed.

"H-how could we have lost to them?!" The eyes of the high schoolers' leader zeroed in on Asuna. "It's all her fault!" Veins bulging in her head, the girl grabbed the nearest ball and raised it above her head. "Kagurazaka Asuna, this isn't ove- EEEK!" And her throw was interrupted by a hand on her rear.

"And what a fine ass you had too." The indignant girl swung her fist at Alexei, which he ducked under. "Shame you turned out to be such a sore loser." The Russian grabbed an attempted kick and knocked the girl onto the ground, then leaned his face in towards hers. "I can understand cheating during a match, but you really should learn to know when you're outclassed." The pervert them smiled and pulled out a feather. "Oh Negiiiiiii!" The younger boy jogged over to his assistant.

"What is it you need Alex-EIIIII!" And was grabbed by the older and held in a head lock. "What are you playing a- NO! PUT THAT AWAY!" The Brit began to panic as Alexei brought the feather to his face.

"Pipe down, I'm just punishing some bad girls!" The whole of the high schoolers seemed to have a collective question mark above their heads as Alexei tickled Negi's nose.

"AH- AH- ACHOOOO!" And screamed when great wind blew and knocked their gym uniforms off. The Russian snapped a few pictures while laughing.

"BAHAHAHA! It seems your perverted sneezes got more powerful! BAHAHA!" The 2-A girls were stuck between happiness and nausea.

"What caused them to lose their clothes?"

"It was probably something Alexei-kun did." Alexei's ears caught their mumblings.

"Oh please, you think I'm so much of a pervert that I came up with some sort of elaborate wind machine that knocks the clothes off of girls?" The girls pondered his question as Alexei got his hopes up that the girls didn't hate him.

""""Yes!"""" And collapsed at their collective agreement. Crying, the pervert cursed his luck.

"Why are you girls SO MEAN TO ME!"

**End Chapter 6.**

**A/N: Anyone catch the Kill Bill reference? No? WELL LOOK AGAIN. I don't know when I'll be able to update again, because school is starting up, and I've got a lot on my plate for this fall, and I'm really lazy and one of the world's worst procrastinators. Also, I've been thinking up ideas for an original story to post on fictionpress and that might end up taking precedence if I can really figure it out. If I do manage to get it off the ground, I'll mention it in the next chapter. Hopefully someone will check it out. And, as usual, R & R plz.**

_Suka: _**"Bitch" (Are you guys memorizing these at all?)**

_Padazhdiyte: _**"Wait" (used like "Wait just a second!")**

_bryet: _**"Shit"**

_moy brat: _**"My brother"**


End file.
